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Zero quotable dialog — and it doesn’t matter a bit

31 August 2011

So, I finally got around to seeing The Expendables last night. Yep, I’m that lazy — if it’s not on Netflix Instant, chances are quite good I haven’t seen it. It could be that stuff in the theaters lately isn’t good enough to lure me out of the house, but… well, that’s a blog for another time.

Anywho, Expendables. I loved the hell out of it. The writing, especially the dialogue, wasn’t great — but you know what? That didn’t matter at all. The movie knew exactly what it was, and set about being a shining example of the genre. It was a straight-up 80s action movie with a tacked-on plot and characters whose desciptions could all be “guy with gun,” and it was still extremely fun to watch.

Oh, and the scene in the tunnel when Terry Crews opens up with the automatic shotgun might just be [james_lipton_voice] the greatest moment in the history of film [/james_lipton_voice].

I think Hollywood should greenlight more movies like this instead of remake after remake. Mindless, awesome action films can’t be that hard to write, after all.Β 

So what’s your favorite mindless, yet awesome, action movie ever?

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Reminder — if you pre-order my pal Shirin Dubbin’s upcoming book Chaos Tryst at either Amazon or Barnes and Noble in the next 13 days, send me a copy of your receipt (with your personal info blanked out, of course), and I’ll send you a special collection of short stories from the 47 Echo universe for your e-reader. Just shoot me an email, and it’s all yours, free for nothin’.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. 31 August 2011 2015

    Oh, I dunno, the lines between Stallone and Willis cracked me the hell up.
    “What’s his fucking problem?”
    “He wants to be President.”
    Classic. Had to buy it on BluRay πŸ˜‰

  2. 31 August 2011 2258

    I start thinking of movies and I think, “I can’t say something as brilliant as Big Trouble in Little China, is mindless. The Road Warrior is not mindless–it’s preparing us for the future! (I need to get one of those razor boomerangs.) Iron Monkey is a fairly mindless action flick I can watch over and over. (But it’s funny enough that I don’t know if it qualifies as mindless.)”

    So some actual thought…

    Jackie Chan movies are often mindless, but you still have to appreciate what he does in the things, even if there are mountains in the background of New York City in Rumble in the Bronx.

    Escape from New York is like the Road Warrior–conditioning us for the future πŸ˜‰ (Same thing with Running Man.) Bloodsport is pretty damn close…and the opening gunfight in Predator II ranks as pretty mindless. The Warriors is way up there, but Commando edges it out.

    But there’s one film…no, FRANCHISE that gets my vote. After all the things I listed above, the Fast and the Furious movies win! I don’t think there is anything more mindless that I expected to hate that I had so much stupid fun watching.

    • 1 September 2011 0900

      I saw the first and, I think, fourth Fast and the Furious movies. I, too, enjoyed the hell out of them.

      • 3 September 2011 0819

        You need to watch the 5th one too. It’s as good or better than the 1st and 4th πŸ˜‰

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